I can freely admit that I'm not the quickest on social media. As someone trying to spread ideas (and subsequent dialogue) to the masses, I should definitely do better.
At any rate, here is my contribution to the #tbt craze that start a very long time ago. I am re-sharing a poem I wrote in 2008 and posted on Facebook, back when I was single. I had yet to meet my wife, but it's funny how this poem written to my future became applicable to my present (play on words fully intended).
I understand how weird that sounds, especially considering who I am. It makes this difficult to write and even more difficult to share. I am an affirmed believer in the Creator, His Son Jesus Christ, and in His Word. Admitting that bible verses hurt me, and not in the "forgive me for I have sinned" way but in the "that verse brings back memories of pain" kinda way, compounded by the "I don't know what to do with this anymore" kinda way, is pretty personal stuff and hard to even explain.
"Be anxious for nothing..." from Philippians 4:6-7 is the one that stands out most for me. It reminds me of our persistent prayers for Yulissa, my niece, to survive. We all prayed incredibly hard. We may have been a bit anxious, but really, not much. We truly believed she'd be healed. We beat back fears. We didn't ask amiss. We followed instructions. It didn't work. She passed away after 50 days battling complications from hemophagocytic lymphohistiocytosis, which is a condition I literally can't pronounce. March 30, 2012 is what I call my own Day of Pentacost...
Everything changed that day. Yeah, I mourned my niece and continue to do so, though I am encouraged she's dancing in princess gowns in heaven, having tea parties with Jesus, Joseph, and Joshua, them all sitting in chairs entirely too small for them but enjoying her company so much they fail to feel any discomfort. Yeah, she's having a ball!
But anyway, I know that I will never be the same. After she passed, I remembered all of the prayers, bible reciting, rebuking the spirit of doubt, and so on, and felt forced to reconsider what all of that meant. You see, we failed... or something. According to my understanding of the scriptures I quoted, we quoted, we didn't get it right, because my niece isn't here anymore. No amount of comfort provided by my dreams of her tea parties can change that.
So now I question everything. I don't question who God is and such, but I question just about everything else. It's not to say I doubt Him, but to admit I don't understand Him. The biggest question I now have, that this experience has forced me to boldly admit that I've been wondering for years, is "what exactly is the Word of God?"
Yeah, I went there. I've been scared of going there for so long, but I think keeping my question hidden only further separates me from God. So, what exactly is His Word? The obvious answer is "the Bible" but I'm not too convinced the answer is that simple anymore. I mean this: is the bible the unadulterated Word of God, or is the physical bible we hold the medium through which we receive the unadulterated Word of God? Is the bible spiritually perfect, or literally perfect?
Since the aforementioned passage that hurts me so much is attributed to Paul, I've also come to ask: "Did Paul know he was writing The Bible when he wrote all those letters to churches? I mean, I think it's a pretty good question; we take what he says as gospel, but did he know we were going to do that? He instructed his mentee Timothy to drink some wine at some point since his stomach was weak; does that very person-specific advice seem as something you'd record if you knew your letter to the kid would be canonized and held in equal regard as the whole Pentateuch (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy)?
So what do I do with this? Is Paul's advice a set of how-to instructions, or simply encouragement? If I had saw his words as encouragement then, they wouldn't hurt me so much now.
Men and women grossly smarter and vastly more knowledgeable than I have tackled these questions and much deeper questions for years and I suppose we'll be grappling with them until we all meet Him. Some who have questioned as such have grown much closer to God; others have turned away from Him. As for me, I can't say with any surety how it'll all shake out, but I can assure you that I will forever affirm who He is. He's my God. I know Him. Understand Him? No. But I know Him. I've seen Him for myself. And I believe He's invited me to get to know Him better, starting by shaking my fear of asking unpopular questions and trusting He still loves me and will even be gracious enough to answer me.
Pray for me as I keep moving towards Him and His truth. And if you're both curious and adventurous, I invite you to fearlessly find it too.
As of midnight, the government of the United States of America is closed for business. Very simply, here's why:
There was a law that passed in 2010. It passed through two democratically elected houses of Congress, both House of Representatives and the Senate, and was signed by a democratically elected president. That is, of course, how laws are passed in this great republic. It was a controversial law, but it passed according to the Constitution of the United States, our supreme governing document. Further, this law was challenged and when heard by the United States Supreme Court, the law was indeed found constitutional, meaning that the entirety of our checks & balances apparatus found the law legally binding and appropriately passed.
Now, in 2013, after 41 or so failed attempts by the lower house of Congress to repeal this controversial law, the lower house of Congress has made the repeal or defunding of this law, often derided for its substantial page length, essentially a "policy rider" to a government funding bill. In other words, "either repeal THIS law, you upper house and you leader of the free world, or we'll shut this whole mutha-sucka DOWN!" So, the lower house of Congress alone is trying to overturn the decision of two houses, lower and upper, and the president, okayed explicitly by the Supreme Court. While this is technically constitutionally allowable, it seems to usurp everything that little bill on Capitol Hill sang to me on that famous episode of School House Rock. I mean, that song changed my LIFE! I highly doubt the majority in the lower house feels the same, though.
It is argued that the president and the majority in the upper house are just as much to blame as the majority in the lower house, all sides refusing to stop, collaborate, and/or listen. However, I must call it... I mean, this controversial law may need some tweaking, changing, delay, or what have you. But where are the recommendations from the lower house on what specifically to change? All I'm hearing are attempts to completely derail every part of that controversial law, even those parts widely accepted and penned by the same lower house majority trying desperately to repeal it. I mean, this law is essentially the same law and policy working in a single state within these United States, signed by the then governor of that state, who happens to be a member of the same party of the lower house majority. As the guy in the prior link states: politics trumping policy. And, speaking to the "politics trumps policy" idea again, it truly seems that the repeal of this controversial law is driven not by a virtuous desire to save our citizenry from a terrible mistake, but to simply stop it from working so the advancing party takes a political loss.
There is so much to say on this, and only so much even can be said when purposefully not naming the law, the party that passed it and the party that is trying to repeal it, and so on. I'm praying, so hard, that the American people can see this situation for what it is on its merit, without the stigma that certain labels carry, much like how the jury was instructed to picture all the horrors inflicted on Carl Lee Hailey's daughter inflicted upon a sweet little white girl instead.
But as of right now, over 800,000 federal employees who earn a living by going to do the work they were hired to do will not be working or earning wages while 534 people responsible for preventing this are still getting paid. Further, about 1.3 million civilian federal employees deemed "essential" are indeed sitting at work right now, doing the work of this country, and not getting paid, while the 534 people charged with preventing such an injustice, are failing and still getting paid. Oh, the injustice of it all! In AMERICA!!! I mean, when have we ever accepted that people who indeed go to work and do good work don't deserve to be compensated accordingly?! This is not the meritocracy that our country espouses, is it? I mean, this isn't even that lazy 47% that pays no income tax; I can just about guarantee that all of these "essential" employees are members of the other 53% and pay handsomely the dues to that club.
Lastly, my city, the District of Columbia, in theory shuts down with the federal government. In the shutdown in the 90s, our city had to leave trash uncollected, streets unswept, kids unschooled, etc. We're the only city in these great United States of America who suffer this fate. What's worse, we elect not one of the 535 people who make these decisions. We have one non-voting member of the lower house, who basically gets to express concern but has no weight in decision-making. The fate of over 600,000 federal tax-paying citizens of the United States have absolutely no power in this fight, no representation and no voice. Sounds like a real reason for disposing of tea, don't you think? Thankfully, our mayor, in an act of defiance, has deemed all city services "essential" and has the reserve funds to keep us going for about two weeks. After that? Well, we're screwed, and have no forum of regress, unlike the other 250 million+ citizens of our great nation who pay the exact same federal taxes we do.
So, who's down for some calling of representatives of other states and districts? Who's down for voting out those who hold our economy hostage, at least with a primary candidate to replace that rep with a more reasonable candidate from your own preferred party? I honestly don't care about which party; I care only about reasonable, thinking people being entrusted to make such heavy decisions. Do we really believe that the architects of this shutdown are reasonable to usurp the explicitly expressed will of the people, as shown through the passing of a law through two houses and a president and the failure to reverse it in the same manner?
I will be fine with this controversial law being repealed, if replaced with an alternative that advances the health and financial stability of the American people, that is passed honestly through our checks and balances. Anything else is indeed political terrorism.
